To the Vice President Elect

Dear Governor Pence-Vice President Elect,

My name is Alysa McManus. I was born and raised in Montgomery County, Indiana. After graduating with a B.S. in Urban Leadership from Indianapolis’ Crossroads Bible College in 2011, I relocated to Denver, Colorado to join the CrossPurpose Center for Urban Leadership. Through CPCUL I completed a two-year fellowship program that’s mission is to develop diverse, urban community leaders to help drive Kingdom-centered neighborhood transformation.

Five years later, my husband and I remain in Denver. We are a part of Providence Bible Church, a church committed to living out the Gospel in a multi-ethnic and multi-class context. I am a director at CrossPurpose, an organization that seeks to abolish all forms of poverty through the power of significant relationships.

You have publicly made it known that you are a Christian, so from one Christian to another, I want to encourage and challenge you as you transition into the role of Vice President. You have said that you are “a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order.”  I urge you to fight for and uphold that order. As you help lead our country, how will you bear the image of Christ in your words and your actions?

You are unashamedly pro-life. You said, “I want to live to see the day that we put the sanctity of life back at the center of American law...” How far does your pro-life conviction extend? Will you only fight for the right to live for the unborn, or will you fight too for those outside the womb?

When a black male dies at the hand of police brutality, will you ensure investigation and consequences? When a refugee seeks safety, will you provide refuge? When you cross paths with an undocumented mother of American-born children, will you seek immigration reform or deportation?  When men and women come out of prison, will they be given a fair opportunity to thrive in society? When Trump speaks disrespectfully about others, will you go along with it , or will you speak up?  If you truly value the sanctity of life and believe that all life is sacred and holy, then you will use your influence to make sure that all lives matter and people are treated accordingly.

You have claimed that millions of more people are living in poverty than when President Obama became president. Regardless of whether that is true or not, poverty is a big problem. Over 45 million Americans live in economic poverty. Government assistance can be a necessary and helpful band-aid, but most of the programs are incapable of ending poverty. Niche-based nonprofits and quality education are also helpful, but by themselves insufficient. The poverty alleviation system is broken.

How will the Trump administration address poverty? Will you seek out innovate solutions? There are strong organizations across the country that are committed to poverty alleviation. Government has a role to play, but I believe that it is at the community level that poverty alleviation is made possible.

Year Up, a nationwide program, empowers low-income young adults to go from poverty to professional careers in a single year. They connect young adults in need of an opportunity with companies who will benefit from their talent. Year Up takes a holistic, high support and high expectation approach. (Learn more at yearup.org).

Circles USA, a nationwide program, has a relationship-based strategy that engages the entire community in collaborative solutions to poverty. Circles educates, empowers and equips their participants to exit poverty. (Learn more at CirclesUSA.org)

CrossPurpose, a Denver organization, is working to get 1,000 men, women, and children out of poverty in the next five years. If this objective is met, over 300 families will escape poverty with a total economic impact of $100 million over 10 years. Their one-year career and community development program provides intensive soft skill and middle skill training that helps participants flourish as employees in the workplace and as leaders in their community. The goal is to help participants get on a career path that will lead to earning $15+ hour. The program bridges social capitol and tears down societal walls by surrounding participants with volunteers from the middle-to-upper class that will walk alongside them on their journey. Throughout the program, all forms of poverty (relational, economic, and spiritual) are abolished. (Learn more at CrossPurpose.org and UpstreamImpact.org).

I tell you about these programs to encourage you that Americans are doing great things to fight poverty and to uphold sanctity of life for the poor.  I encourage you to find ways that the government can play a supportive role in these poverty alleviation efforts.

I’ve lived long enough to realize that life is not always black and white; there is a lot of grey. I know that there are many factors that play into every decision and action. I know that your job as a government official is not easy. In each moment, especially the grey and complicated moments marked with tough calls that need to be made, I pray that you will consider this, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8).

As a Christian, the next four years aren’t just about America, they are about you living out the Gospel as an image-bearer of God and playing your role in building the Kingdom of God.

I pray for you and rest of the Trump administration.

Grace and Peace,

Alysa McManus

Tom Gamel. The Wonderful Man of Denver

Upon moving to Colorado, I heard the name “Tom” frequently. “Tom”, a business man gave $ to Cole. “Tom” agreed to fund Upstream Impact. “Tom” this and “Tom” that. Who was this Tom?... this unseen guy that I started calling the wizard as he reminded me of mysterious wizard of Oz. I heard his name.  I saw the fruit of his giving, but I did not see him. I dreamt once that I went to a party at Tom’s house and even in the dream he was nowhere to be found. Was Tom some mythical character in the sky, raining down money on our neighborhood?

A year into my journey on the yellow brick road of NE Denver, the curtain was pulled back and I met the wizard, I met Tom. I soon realized that unlike the wizard of Oz, Tom Gamel was no phony.

Tom was a smart leader that invested in other leaders. Tom multiplied himself into Jason, my boss, who has multiplied himself into me, and now I into others. Tom leaves behind a legacy of leaders.

As a leader, Tom held us accountable to high expectations. Knowing we had to answer to him, definitely kept me on my toes. Like I have in the past, I will continue to press on during the difficult moments, because I am committed to honoring who he was. His giving will never be in vain.  

Tom was personable, unlike the stereotypical, disconnected check-writing philanthropist. I would walk into his office and he’d greet me with a hug.  Tom knew the names and the stories of the Upstream families. He spent time with them,  visiting Upstream family dinners, and having lunch with participants  and mentors  at his office. Tom engaged with us and when he was with us, he was one of us.  

Tom made dreams come true. He made the vision of Upstream Impact a reality. His generosity fueled a program that made it possible for the undocumented to be documented, for the uneducated to get an education, for a mom to buy her first kitchen table, for the isolated to be surrounded by family, for unexpected medical bills to be paid, for the recovering addict to have a second chance, and for 30+ families to lead their journeys out of poverty. His giving made dreams come true- including mine, when he entrusted me, despite my lack of credentials and experience, with the opportunity to lead Upstream Impact.

Unlike the not-so-wonderful wizard of Oz, Tom turned out be truly wonderful. No wizard at all, he was a good man. In loving memory, we celebrate a personable leader that made dreams come true, Tom Gamel.

My Forgiveness Journey

"How much of your current unhappiness is due to the past?" J asked.

A year had come and gone; a year full of good things- a fulfilling job, vibrant church and newlywed life with my best friend. And yet, I was miserable.

I felt like a spoiled brat, admitting that despite all His goodness, I was still unhappy. I felt a mix of shame and relief as I thought of my answer. Ashamed that I had failed to let the past go; relieved that currently things really were good and not the cause of such misery.

"80%," I confessed. 80% of my current despair caused by ancient history.

"Then I think it is time to deal with it," he said.

Twinging within, I nodded in agreement. It had been nine years. Nine years of pain, bitterness, anger, hatred... nine years of a broken heart.

Dealing with it would require something that I did not know how to do. It would require me to forgive them.

He asked, "Who do you need to forgive?"

I named them one by one; six in all. All six of my offenders were interconnected in one dark period of my life. The six were comprised of four church leaders, one pastor and my dad.

I don't find it necessary to give a detailed account but I will give an overview for context.

(the backstory)

I grew up attending two churches. A baptist church with my mom and a non-denominational church with my dad. I loved my "dad's church." Over a span of ten years, it is there I developed some of the deepest relationships I have ever had. Within this body, my faith  and spirituality were shaped.

Then the summer I was fifteen, everything changed. Accusations, confrontations and discipline were aimed at my dad. We tried to stick it out, but the hurt was too deep. Ten years of relational and spiritual investment sank down the drain and we left.  
We were damaged. My world crumbled. Dad was broken. My step-mom was abandoned. My little brothers' spiritual foundation was ripped out from beneath them.

The collateral damage spread wide. Impressionable, young Christians knew not where to turn. Friendships were tested and defeated. The church imploded from within. 

Losing my norm... losing the spiritual bedrock that was my parents... losing my 3 best friends... losing my childlike faith... losing the ability to trust leadership... losing it all... left a gaping hole in my heart. I began to see and live through a tainted and broken lens.

I cried regularly for the first couple of years. Eventually, my tears of sadness turned to rants of anger. My anger grew to hatred and then to bitterness. I spent college church hopping, skeptical of pastors, resistant to accountability, and increasingly apathetic.

My soul wrestled itself. At age 22, I stood at a crossroad. Would I continue on a path of faith with Christ, even though it came with pain and suffering, or would I walk away once and for all from the only lifestyle I'd known and strive to live a 'good life' on my own apart from Christ? 

Still tottering on the fence, I met two pastors from Denver that invited me to join their faith community. I was desperate for the life and the church they described. God threw me a lifeline and in faith I took hold. 

Two years later, I was beginning my second year in Denver. The first year consisted of healing, affirmation and blessing. I followed two leaders, wholeheartedly. They led well but they weren't perfect and when their imperfections surfaced, it triggered the bitterness, which intertwined all past and current pain. All progress halted and the downward spiral spun.

Thankfully the pastors in my life were watchful and caring shepherds. When J asked me, "How much of your current unhappiness is due to the past?" I felt known and safe. And when he told me it was time to deal with it, I finally felt ready.

With the support of my husband, pastors and church, I embarked on a forgiveness journey. When I started out, I didn't know how or when I would forgive, but I was determined to be free. I read articles about forgiveness. "Help me now to do the impossible...forgiveness" from Matthew West's song 'Forgiveness' became my prayer. When I doubted my ability to forgive, God showed me through Scripture that I was able to forgive, not through my own power, but through Christ's forgiving power within me. When I felt revengeful and judgmental, God reminded me that all judgement belongs to Him and that He will hold wayward shepherds accountable.

God prepared my heart to forgive quickly after I agreed to go on this venture. I was ready to forgive, but I still didn't know what it would require. J suggested meeting with the individuals in person. At this suggestion, my heart shook in fear. It was one thing to forgive them privately between God and I, but did I really need to subject myself to their presence and possible rejection? Fearful but determined to be free once and for all, I knew it called for drastic measures and I agreed to do the forgiving in person.

The truth is though that forgiveness came before the meetings and the meetings were just an opportunity to share about the journey I had been on. Within 4 months time, I would go on to meet with 5 individuals in person and 1 over the phone. Forgiving and reconciling with my dad first, he was my rock and example through the rest of the process. I'm grateful for the courage and grace that my dad and step-mom modeled. They, along with my husband, graciously agreed to be there for the conversations with people that had hurt them too.

Although awkward at first, the conversations went smoother than I had expected. They listened and responded gracefully. We seemed to be mutually blessed and relieved. For the first time in over a decade, I was able to sit peacefully with them. I wasn't aiming for reconciliation of any sort but yet in a simple, mutually healing way, we were reconciled.

Forgiveness is an experience that bears much fruit. Forgiving them means that I no longer rage with anger at the mention of their names. It means that I am  thankful for the good years we had before the brokenness came. It means that I greet them in public and don't run in the other direction. A gift from this journey has been a restored affection. Our relationships will never be what they were, but at least now I can remember and appreciate the joy that our relationships once were. Forgiveness doesn't mean that what they did wasn't wrong, but it does mean I trust God to take care of it, and not me. It doesn't mean that those years of my life aren't a painful memory, but it does mean that I believe God will continue to work it out for my good and His glory.

Forgiveness means I am free! I enjoy life again. I trust. I address offense in real time. I love the church deeply. I continue on a path of faith, because through it all, Christ kept me. Redemption saw me through.

If you are currently miserable because of bad memories or if you can't seem to move forward because you are stuck in the past, I encourage you to go on a forgiveness journey. Our bitterness doesn't hurt anyone but us. Reach out to the One who forgave you. Through Him, you can forgive the worst of offenders.

Ministry Update Summer 2014

My dearest family and friends,

When I first moved to Denver I thought that when the Fellowship ended we'd be in the first moving truck back to Indianapolis. I was anxious to get back to the city that my heart loves and to reunite with our family and friends. For a while we also considered moving to NYC for a year and then settling in Indianapolis. James has never been in a rush to leave, really liking Denver. I was resistant to putting down emotional and physical roots here in Colorado.

Last fall we made a joint decision that it was best for our families to move back to Indianapolis shortly after the Fellowship. Excited about our decision we announced over Christmas to our family and friends that we'd be moving back to Indy at Christmas 2014. We went and toured apartments, trying to identify our new home.

As we looked at apartments I started to doubt our decision. It is our desire to live in the city in an ethnically and economically diverse neighborhood however, apartments in those neighborhoods are few and far between, and a safe apartment is even less probable. The apartments we looked at on the outskirts on the city near the suburbs were beautiful and safe, but to live there would be a huge compromise of my conviction to live in the same neighborhood of those I serve, the poor. I've always felt like God will eventually use me to bridge the gap between the urban and suburban church by putting me in a position in a suburban church; however, I did not feel like the time was now.

Apartment location triggered a lot of other thoughts and conversations. Where would we work? Where would we attend church? Is there a church that lives by the same convictions that we do in Indianapolis: a moderate Baptistic church comprised of people of various ethnicities, and rich and poor that are committed to doing life in a concentrated geographical area?

Near the end of our Christmas visit I drove down my favorite part of Washington Street on the eastside of Indianapolis, a street that I drove every day for four years. Tears filled my eyes as I saw a gentrified street that barely resembled the once eclectic Washington Street I knew. I felt like a foreigner in a strange land and for the first time ever I missed Denver and couldn't wait to get back.

Soon after our return to Denver I accepted the job as the Program Director at Upstream Impact that is ¾'s time until August and then full-time in August. We started to consider Denver as an option for our future. The consideration itself was very difficult for me, especially in terms of hurting my family. They had rejoiced when I announced we were moving back and I was afraid of letting them down. Thankfully when we talked to our parents they were gracious and supportive.

As time has unfolded God has blessed our life here. James and I are excited to announce that we will be staying in Denver for the foreseeable future as long as the Lord wills. He has provided a church and community for us to flourish in. We live among the rich and the poor 14 blocks from downtown. He has provided us both with jobs that we love and that will financially provide for our needs. I finally feel like Denver is home.

Someday, if the Lord wills, we will probably return to Indianapolis as it is still dear to our hearts; however, we feel settled here for now and my heart is finally resting from the question "When will we leave?"

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Thank you for the part you have played in our journey. I count myself blessed for faithful givers, intercessors and loved ones that have supported me. I could not have thrived without each of you behind me. I pray that God will bless you richly for richly loving me.

July will be the last month for you to send financial support. I pray that God will use your generosity to encourage others.

Grace and Peace,  

Alysa McManus  

 

Earlier this spring each cohort of fellows was charged with picking a name for their cohort to help specify who is in which cohort. After throwing around various ideas, my cohort had a brilliant idea. We decided to call ourselves Alpha Team because we were the pioneers, the first fellows to ever land in Denver. The other cohort came up with some silly name. We started calling them "Beta" the next letter in the Greek alphabet and eventually it stuck. Being an Alpha fellow has become a part of my identity. It is a great indicator of the role our cohort played. We were the first group of fellows to drop our nets and move to Denver. We are the forerunners, the pioneers that in many ways h  ave paved the way for many fellows to come. When you are the guinea pigs you experience the good, bad and the ugly. After the ugly passes you have the opportunity to speak and advocate for change; for a better program, a better experience for others. We also got to help Beta team find their place here and we are passing on the baton to them as they welcome Gamma in September. It is my honor to be an Alpha fellow. Despite the challenges that we faced due to the Fellowship being a brand new program, I am proud of the influence Alpha has had on the present and future of the program. I pray that this is only the beginning of the Fellowship and that God will continue to bless the program, the Fellows and the neighbors of Denver. I am excited to be an alum and can't wait to come back in 2037 to celebrate the graduation of Omega team! The PCULD staff will be hosting a graduation ceremony for the Alpha fellows on Saturday July 26. We will celebrate with family, friends, neighbors and the people we have served in ministry. I am blessed that my mom, Grandma Shirley and Aunt Lori will be traveling to Denver for the occasion.

Upstream Update   It is my honor to be the Program Director for Upstream Impact. I have the privilege of directing our current programs and shaping the future of our programs. I also have the joy of being in transformational relationships with our participants and volunteers. We are thrilled at the results we are seeing. In 2012 we started with 26 families and our currently still working with 19. By October 13 of the 19 will graduate from the initial phase from the program. By God's grace people are getting out of poverty! Here are some exciting stats: The cohort's Employment Income has increased by $18,230 more per month after 18 months. Over 24 months this projects to an overall increase of $437,528. The cohort is receiving $4,608 less per month after 18 months. Over 24 months this projects to an overall decrease of $110,592. 12 of the current 19 Team Leaders started the program below the poverty line. Today 7 of the current Team Leaders are below the poverty line which is an improvement % of -42%. Here are three main things the Upstream staff has learned over the past two years:  1. Relational Trust is the Secret Sauce of Personal Transformation. The most mentioned and praised aspect of Upstream Impact is the family component. Without the family feel there would be less buy-in to the program. Both the rich and the poor are often isolated. Upstream breaks the barrier of isolation, and offers a loving and accepting family for all of us. This atmosphere of trust creates the environment for hard conversations and for overcoming obstacles. We have adopted the phrase "There is no significant change without a significant relationship."                                                                     2. It's A Jobs Game. Full-time employment is the key to getting out of financial poverty.  3. Enact Parkinson's Law. Parkinson's Law is defined as: "The amount of time that one has to perform a task is the amount of time it will take to complete the task." Due to the climate in the poverty alleviation world we were too cautious to move at a fast pace.  We have learned that just because someone is in poverty does not mean that they are incapable of rapid change. The program can deliver results faster. We can get unemployed and severely underemployed team leaders to financial stability in one year instead of two years. We can get the working poor to financial self-sufficiency in one year. This cuts our program time in half. In January 2015 we will begin the process with 20 people under the poverty line and 20 people in the working poor. We are excited to implement what we have learned and see even greater transformation occur!

Thank you to those of you that donated to Night in a Box! God abundantly provided! We raised $31k, a thousand more than our goal! I encourage you to watch the videos at the links below created by my friend Caleb! Video Testimony: Alysa PCULD testimonial

Please stay in touch! I will notify you when I update my blog. My contact information will be as follows starting in August: amcmanus@upstreamimpact.org~3007 California St, Denver CO 80205

With A Little Help From My Friends

“I have divided you into groups...”

Throughout my academic experience I cringed when teachers said this. I did not like group projects. I questioned why I needed to complete a task with others when I felt more than capable of successfully completing the task on my own. Group projects always went the same. In the early years I would volunteer right away to take the lead because I did not trust the leadership of my peers. As I got older I tried to practice “giving others a chance”. The group would sit in awkward silence, waiting for someone to volunteer. Then I would pretend to selflessly volunteer, inwardly rejoicing I did not have to leave it up to someone else.

I was the leader a lot. Adults recognized my leadership as a positive quality. I possessed the quality of leadership, but my leadership was far from positive. I led like a dictator, rarely asking for the input of my “subordinates” and ignoring them when they spoke up. Rarely delegating, I put all the weight of our success on my shoulders because I expected others to be incompetent and irresponsible people who would fail. I saw outspoken and skilled peers as a threat to my role as the leader. Any group project I was a part of got a good grade, but looking back I know that if I was graded on teamwork or interpersonal interactions the grades would have been significantly different.

I had the privilege of being on a three person team during my first year in Denver. I was not the main leader. I was the newbie and the youngster and yet I was treated with the utmost respect and dignity. Jason and Juan modeled for me team leadership. They sought my opinion and gave me the freedom to speak boldly. They led out of their strengths and encouraged me to do the same. In areas where I was weak they were strong, and in areas where they were weak they would delegate to me. For the first time I enjoyed being on a team. I knew my place and I was confident in the intention and work of my teammates. The transformation started.

We worked together for a year to launch the fellowship and the launch date was approaching. As I heard Jason and Juan talk excitedly about the skills of certain incoming fellows, my old tendencies and fears started to creep up. I was comfortable with our team of three and I didn’t want to lose it. I deeply feared being replaced.

My cohort arrived and for the first couple of months it was not that bad. Our team of nine was excited to be starting the fellowship and we enjoyed each others company. Like a newlywed couple we went through a honeymoon period but like all honeymoons it eventually came to an end. Our next stage was marked with unmet expectations, fear, doubt, judgment, criticism, hurt feelings and bitterness. Ten months in we were operating mainly as nine individuals instead of a team. We were a mess and we all knew it. The ‘gun’ was to our head and we had to choose between continued dysfunction and the hope of a unified team. In the grace of God, we chose hope. Over the next few months we spent over ten hours behind closed doors fighting for the hope that we could be transformed into a unified team.

A part of me knew that the workplace would be more enjoyable and that the mission would flourish more if we operated as a healthy team; however, it took hours to convince me that our unity was a necessity in my life. In one of the first meetings I boldly confessed “I don’t need this team and I don’t know that I want it.” My ‘dukes were up’ and my heart was hardened. I felt like I was doing great as an individual because I was responsible and doing what was expected me. I did not need a team to do that.

One of the core issues that surfaced in these conversations was a lack of trust. The “feelers” or “people-oriented” team members did not trust that the “doers” and “task focused” people desired relationship with them, and if we did we did not do a good job of showing it. On the other hand, we “doers” and “task-focused” people did not trust that the “feelers” were dependable to get the job done. The bottom line was we did not trust each other. We were suspicious of one another's priorities, especially as it related to time. Revealing the core issue of trust was pivotal for me as well as my teammates.

Slowly but surely transformation began to take place as we spoke our feelings and let all the ugly hang out. We did not rush to tie a pretty bow on the situation. We examined the ugly and came to the collective decision that things needed to change.

I do not remember all the details of how God transformed us but He did it! By the end of the summer we genuinely enjoyed one another’s company. We appreciated the ways we each were contributing to the mission. On the fall retreat we gave ourselves the name “Alpha team,” taking pride in our position as the first cohort of fellows. We joined together in friendly competition and beat the Beta team (2nd cohort) in the Fellowship Olympics.

Beyond the fun and games of that weekend, God gave me an overwhelming love for my team. Part of the agenda was for Alpha team to wash the feet of our leaders and Beta team. As I was washing their feet, an image of Christ washing the feet of His team, the disciples, popped in my head. Immediately I started to weep because I was literally doing something that Christ had done thousands of years before. I washed one foot after another and I couldn’t stop. After I finished with leaders and Beta, I wept at the feet of my teammates begging to wash their feet too. Washing their feet and praying for them through my tears was humbling and it caused a rush of love into my heart for them that had been missing.

That retreat was six months ago. Time has come and gone. Struggles and victories have occurred. We have lost teammates. Through it all God is continually transforming Alpha. I am no longer a lone wolf. I have bought into the team and confessed more than once how much I need them. I am confident in the role I play in the mission and I now trust the heart intention of my teammates, knowing that God is using them to play their role.

If someone came into the fellowship now and said “I have divided you into groups,” my heart would not need to fret. If I am going to be on a team I want to be on a team with these people.